Shades of Grey

Structures.

Too many structures in this world.

Buildings.

Laws.

Norms.

Social idiots have nothing to protect them from the governing power of these structures.

When some people say there is no right or wrong choice, what do they mean? That as long as we take responsibility for the choices we have made, it is the right choice? Then why do so many people get shackled down by taking responsibility, thinking it would right a wrong, only to discover they’ve gotten themselves into even deeper shit? Is it really just taking responsibility that makes life matter? What of happiness? What of freedom to pursue such happiness? What of forgiveness? What of acceptance? Of accepting other people’s choices whether we think they are right or wrong or whether we see it as taking responsibility or not?

So easy to say that there are no right or wrong choices, but we spend half our life living up to standards set by structures inculcated into us as we grow and mature but that we barely understand. We say we should never compare ourselves to other people but deep down, when we desire someone who desires someone else, we dig deep into ourselves and weigh and measure and transform ourselves into yardsticks until we are convinced that we are better… that we are the “right” choice... hmmm… aminin! We say we don’t want to do it because it doesn’t seem proper. It’s not what the paradigm says we should do, but deep down, we have done it a million times. When we apply for a job, we sugar coat our resumes to get an upper hand. We add meaningless letters to the end of our name to make us sound more educated or more dignified, but the basic things we ever needed to learn about life, we’ve actually already forgotten.

Structures.

Like prison cells, lined up in equal intervals, telling you “hanggang dito ka lang.”

Taking responsibility… What does it mean? What do we want it to mean? What if it has a different meaning to others? Isn’t it something that should be done willingly? What difference is responsibility imposed to a punishment sentenced?

And what of love? Even love has become a structure. Marriage a contract bound by law. A responsibility to the virgin whose name is otherwise tainted… a business deal between parents whose wealth would otherwise be jeopardized… a show to raise vice presidential votes?…

Hay… kung anu-ano na iniisip ko…

Kaun nalang ko ah. Makagulutom man gali magpinanumdom…

BASTA! GWAPA AKO!